I am so Grateful!

My Life Has Completely changed since encountering the mind training of A Course In Miracles. I look back at how my life was before my encounter with the Course and I feel like, by comparison it is not fair to call it life. It is truly as if my life has just begun, and each moment an incredible and ever expanding experience of unspeakable joy and peace. I can vaguely remember my day to day life before I began practicing the course, all the feelings and trials and the general suffering that I lived with, and sometimes didn't even know it. Feelings like jealously, shame, guilt, fear... feeling abandoned or loss, and the habitual need to bury these feelings that created behaviors and addictions that just fed the same feelings. I never imagined what it feels like to be free of something that I never thought possible to be free from... There is nothing I wouldn't do to make this available to everyone... there is nowhere I wouldn't go for someone who wanted this experience...
I am so Grateful!

--by John C.

 
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I Finally Surrendered

The Course in Miracles came into my life when I was desperately trying to sedate the huge amount of pain and loneliness I felt on a day to day basis. Alcohol and drugs played such a key role at that time, it didn't seem like it then, but now, looking back, I can't believe how much my life centered around consuming them. I had no idea of any solution to this growing dis-ease, and wandered around hopelessly and angrily in this world. The funny thing was that I was supposed to be in paradise, beautiful city in California, relaxed student of a good University, adoring boyfriend, and a purpose to save the world. The September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center jolted my unseemingly depressive cycle of existence, suddenly all seemed blatantly fruitless.  I was attending a University at that time and my impending death, by sudden plane crash, made whatever I was striving for a pointless aim. Death consumed me all the time, it was the only thing I could think about as I walked from class to class in a sleepy daze. 

On one gorgeous day, as the sun shone over the bay of this quaint ocean side town, I finally surrendered. I got off my bike at the top of this massive hill that over looked the city, and getting down on my knees, I prayed to a God I didn't understand nor even think I believed in.  I asked for help out of the situation I was in, complete and total help; I was now willing to do anything. The next day I searched out every doctor that I could, looking for answers. Finally I ran into one woman that introduced me to the Course. I had no idea what it was, a book, a program, an idea? The name of Jesus repelled me instantly, so as if by a miracle his name was not mentioned at first, although his beautiful writing and truth hit me instantly. “In my defenselessness my safety lies,” was the first quote I heard. My conceptual mind couldn't understand but I knew that it was true, it rang in me.  And even though my mind couldn't grasp it I knew I really wanted to know it, through and through, as true.  I wanted what I heard as an intimate experience and I made a searching effort to find it. 

My seeking led me to the door that was wide open all the time, just waiting for my faint interest. I found Endeavor Academy, I found the 12 Step Program, and I found Jesus, my God, and the Holy Spirit, waiting and ready to offer me any experience I asked for. I never knew what life was, but it was creeping behind me all the time, when I finally turned and felt the experience, that, this is not life, this is not the real world, and that this is a dream that doesn't even faintly touch upon the joy of what Heaven is. My asking threw me into a world where words become utterly useless but I knew it was my home. My gratitude is not only for finding the Course that saved me from a life of sedation and futile searching but also for finding this total freedom in God that lies beyond this world but is ever present with me in it.  I discovered the kingdom and everyone is there with me, totally free, unharmed, and one-extending forever. The experience of seeing my brother as the Christ coming to take me home was given to me and unparalleled to any experience I have ever tried to create for myself.  Each day and each moment becomes a totally freeing experience where I can meet you out of time, without a body, and finally free of all limitations. How was this all given to me?  I simply asked for something that I thought I wanted and was given so much more than I ever even dreamed. This continues to be my experience and I am continuing to be forever and forever explosively grateful. The word gratitude doesn't even come close to describing my utter relief and thankfulness for finding the one thing I was ever searching for, a solution to this place, where everyone can be free. Now, I know it is in
myself because, now, I know, it lies in God. Thank You.

--by Abby

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I know now that God loves me.

The workbook of A Course in Miracles changed my whole life. Everything I look upon I can see in a different light. I never thought this was possible: to know deep within my heart that God loves me and that Jesus is walking quite literally next to me helping me on my way home. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

--by Lily

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I was dead and now I am alive.

My gratitude for the restoration of my mind to singular wholeness is simply indescribable. I remember that, before the Course In Miracles and Master Teacher came into into my life, I was lost. Entirely lost. Always. I felt so misplaced. I had many moments of visions of truth and revelations for the couple of years before my  awakening, and yet I was still trapped in the aweful situation I was in and could not find a way out. I would literally go out at night and look at the stars and pray: "If there is anyone out there hearing me,  get me out of here..., I want to go home!" I had visions of not being from here, of not belonging here on earth... I had known since I was a kid that there was something so completely and fundamentally wrong with this place, I had always felt misplaced and lost. This only seemed to increase as an adult.

Finally I reached a point where I went down on my knees and prayed, I had exhausted all my resources of hope to go on, I couldn't stand my pain (or anyone else's) for any second longer. Three days after my desperate prayer a guy that I knew called me, and introduced me to teachers of A Course In Miracles from Endeavor Academy in Wisconsin ( where I live now ). At the time I lived close to Berlin in Germany. From the moment that I saw those teachers I had a memory arise in me, that was so old and familiar, so much more certain  and beautiful than anything I had ever experienced in my life.

I was immediately starting to have physical light-experiences. My body was changing in the proximity of these teachers. They were teaching pure Jesus. I had never heard of A Course In Miracles before and probable would not have believed that it came from Jesus from Out of time, if I hadn't been introduced to it by these guys that were obviously transformed by it, and looked so alive and vibrant, unlike anyone I had ever met before.

I knew with complete certainty that I had finally found the exit, the portal, my way out. This was the answer to all my seeking and endless searching since time began. I just knew it! I knew my prayers had been answered. These guys talked about not needing to get old and sick or dying anymore or ever again, about awaking up and going home, about enlightenment, resurrection and ascension. I was blown away and it made more sense to me than anything I had ever heard.

I started doing the workbook lessons of A Course In Miracles right away and read in the text. I was amazed: I could feel Jesus presence with me and my mind started changing. Burdens just dropped off, I experienced a healing so encompassing, I couldn't have dreamed of this being possible...

There is no comparison of how I am now with how my mind was before I awoke. "I was dead and now I am alive" comes the closest in description. Through the application of the workbook lessons of the Course, and the opening of my mind to Jesus' constant guidance and presence with me, in me  and through me, my mind and body have changed completely. I am not the victim of a separate world anymore. The habitual need or ability to get sick and old and die has been undone by the grace of God. Everything that seemed to be out there, outside of me, continually collapses back into my mind, and is healed through the Holy Spirits vision.

And so the grace of God carries me literally every day as the memory of God replaces all darkness in my mind, and my body is an ever transforming vessel of the light of  resurrection.By the grace of God I live in Him....!!!
Thank you, Jesus, my dearest friend.

--by Kira

 "There Is One Life... And That I Share With God"

Here is my personal declaration of coming to life from this human condition of death, which happened through the grace of God and is a complete Miracle for me.

When I was a child, I sat in my room at night in the darkness and felt aware of a presence that would watch over me. I called it my friend. I knew I was loved. So I would sit and close my eyes and explore myself inside. I would feel myself without limits. I would do something like…"small, small, small, small..." and I would experience contracting to the smallest point and then I would go "big, big, big..." and I would reach to the furthest reach without limit. Then one day a family member died, and I asked my Mom, "What is death?" She told me, "I don't know, but everybody has to die."

From that day on, I was afraid. I was afraid of the dark; there were monsters under my bed, and mummies in the closet. In a very fundamental way I began to mistrust my Mother and all authority. I questioned, "What is the use of this life if we all have to die?" From that moment on, my life became meaningless to me. I felt myself being angry and alone.

I also found the idea of death became an obsession, and one I could use as a weapon against the world around me and myself. Whenever something didn't go my way, I would kill myself. Whenever you did something I didn't like, I wanted to kill you. All of a sudden this place where we could cease to exist didn't seem like such a bad idea. The one exception was that I could never escape myself. I tried drugs and alcohol, relationships, changing locations, different countries, different religions and spiritual practices. I was always trying to find the answer to the problem of my own existence, this feeling of amnesia, of not knowing why I am here, what I am doing here and who I am.

I came to the end of all my roads. I asked for help outside of my own ability to find the answer. There had to be something else, something outside of my own perception. In that single moment of devastation I finally said a true prayer…HELP!

The next day someone showed up at my door in the mountains of Austria. From the first moment I saw her, I knew she had what I wanted. She was just being herself and I recognized her as an old friend. I felt the freedom, the light and the joy, and I fell instantly in love. I was so drawn to that love…it was something I so longed for. I felt something was about to happen to me.

This brother from Endeavor Academy invited me to the Miracles Reunion Center in Germany where they were having a weekend intensive. I was led by her love which was completely without judgment. I had never met anyone who didn't judge me. It appeared as though she was not concerned in the least with what I did. She was certain of who I was even though I wasn't certain.

My first day of session with my new friends was the most awkward and fearful because I had never experienced anything like it. I didn't understand anything. And yet, I was pretending that I did. I stood up in the class and confronted the teacher even though I had no clue what he was talking about. Everything inside of me was resisting the truth. I was really afraid my life would be all over in just a second. I wanted to escape this point of transformation in myself once again, but this time, thankfully, I had no where left to run. Everything in the universe was telling me to stand still and go through my moment of fear, to allow my total healing to occur. Miraculously, there was no phone service at that moment, the buses had all stopped running, and I just had to sit there with my friend, the very one who had showed up at my door and brought me there, as long as it took to go through this experience in my mind. We were there in the office talking for hours!.

Finally she asked me one honest question. "Well then, are you happy?" This was the one single question my life depended on. Every cell in my body knew if I said “no,” that I would die right there on the spot. Surrender was inevitable! Now this was my last chance to get out. I thought, “If I say no, she will let me go. Agreement with her was the only way for me to get away.”

Hey, the last laugh was on me! Who was I going to fool? The moment I said it, I experienced it. It's true, I was not happy. What a relief! Finally, a moment of true honesty. The floodgates opened up. I cried and cried. I knew it was true. I was at the end of my dream.

I admitted that I didn't know anything. I found myself on my knees, in pure communication with God! I experienced mySelf again. Not knowing is All Knowing... Is Life…I Am Alive...My Dream of death was over. All time ended. I was in a new space. And Jesus is by my side, with me forever, my friend I have always known, the presence I felt as a child. Here and Now!

This is a miracle! And This Is A Course In Miracles.
God Bless Us Everyone!

--by Gemini

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